One More Red Nightmare
by LillithAltair
Summary: The past can haunt and destroy the lives of the innocent. In a battle against the unchangeable past and a stranger's demented mind, Kenshin and Kaoru fight for their lives. Kenshin/Kaoru pairing. Angst/Drama/Romance.
1. Default Chapter

(A/N: This is my first Rurouni Kenshin fanfic, and I hope you guys don't find it too awful. ^-^ Well, I obviously don't own any Rurouni Kenshin characters in this story except for my created character Shimozaki Yuji and his family. This is rated R for eventual violence, language, and possible sexual situations. And this contains the Kenshin/Kaoru pairing. Well, enjoy!)

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Chapter 1: Prologue

Celadon eyes hesitantly opened to the new morning from the depths of their dream world. The eyes shut again as an involuntary shiver ran through their owner's body. Kaoru tried pulling the bedding closer around her neck, in hopes of warding off the frigid air that had already woken her from her dreams. This annoyed her........those were good dreams!

Kaoru lay on her futon for a while longer, with intentions of regaining heat and falling back asleep, since it was too early in the morning to do anything, but to no avail. It only seemed to be growing colder by the moment, now that she was awake. With a sigh that acknowledged defeat to the winter cold, Kaoru quickly threw back her bedding and got out of bed. Her thin sleeping robe did little to help keep her warm. Shivering, Kaoru dressed in a warm kimono and her warmer Winter garments. Then, making sure that her long ebony hair was tied with an indigo ribbon that matched her eyes, she exited her room to start on breakfast for the inhabitants of her dojo. Usually, the others were the ones to make breakfast, because they didn't exactly prefer her cooking, but since she was up early, she thought that she might as well do it for them. 

As Kaoru went outside, she noticed that the first sparkling blanket of fresh snow of the year covered the entire grounds, giving the indication that Winter was really there. Everything looked so peaceful and majestic at this time of year. The icicles, frosted cherry trees, and snow-covered buildings were all beautiful. 

Kaoru stopped on her way to the kitchen and stepped off the wooden planks of the dojo's hallway and onto the fresh snow. She inwardly smiled as her sandal-clad feet crunched the white substance beneath them. She walked over to the nearest cherry tree and closed her eyes, when under it's bare, yet snow-blanketed, branches. She inhaled the scent of the cold and sweet air around her, a look of nostalgia passing over her as she stood there in the midst of the wondrous scene around her.

She remembered playing under this same cherry tree after the first snow of the year, as a young girl. She let her eyelids remain closed, savoring the peace of the moment that reminded her of her far away childhood. A delicate snowflake tickled her cheek as a light sprinkling of snow fell from the sky.

"Beautiful morning, isn't it, Miss Kaoru?"

Kaoru had been so lost in her thoughts and in savoring the peaceful morning that she had failed to notice the light crunching noise of sandals on snow coming to rest beside her. She felt foolish for letting her guard down, and felt her face heat in embarrassment at being caught so lost in her thoughts, but she quickly nodded in agreement to the speaker.

"I was on my way to prepare breakfast early, since the cold woke me up, and I got distracted by the new snow. It is beautiful," said Kaoru, surveying the grounds as snowflakes continued to fall. "It sure brings back memories.....," Kaoru said with a sigh, then turned and smiled at Kenshin.

The ex-Battousai couldn't distinguish if Kaoru's sigh was a content sigh or a burdened one. For him, the snow didn't exactly bring back normal memories one would have of fun, laughter, snowballs, and warm blankets. For him, the deathly white snow brought back memories that contrasted with crimson-stained hands.....hands that had murdered someone they loved......... _'No!,_' Kenshin told his mind. _'I won't go there. These are happier times and the people here shouldn't have to be plagued with my memories!_' 

Quickly snapping out of his own reflection on the snow, Kenshin smiled warmly back at Kaoru, who had been waiting for a response from him. Snowflakes continued to steadily fall between them as their eyes locked into a fusion of violet-sapphire. 

After a few moments, Kaoru felt a blush rise to her cheeks, so she calmly walked past Kenshin, in the direction she had headed in earlier.

"I've got to start preparing breakfast. Yahiko will be up shortly and that boy could eat a horse if he wanted! One day, he's going to eat us out of house and home!," Kaoru joked, donning her usual joyous smile and attitude. "Well, he is a growing boy, I guess...."

"That he is, Miss Kaoru," replied Kenshin good-naturedly, knowing that Kaoru secretly considered her apprentice as a younger brother. _'Yes, Yahiko could eat a lot......but not of Miss Kaoru's cooking!,_' thought Kenshin. _'Well, I don't mind Miss Kaoru's cooking. I actually think it's quite good, really.....'_

Breakfast was uneventful other than it being slightly rushed; for everybody yearned to go out to enjoy the new day and new snow.

In mid-afternoon sometime, Kaoru approached Yahiko, ready to leave to town to pick up some things in case the weather worsened and they were stuck in the dojo. 

"Yahiko, stay here and help Kenshin with the chores. And I expect you to have a hot bath ready for me when I return later from the market. We are low on some things. Okay?," Kaoru asked her student.

"You can count on me, Kaoru!," Yahiko responded with a nod a bit too enthusiastically. Kaoru rolled her eyes at his newfound 'talent' of sarcasm.

"I won't be gone too long. Tell Kenshin I left, please. Bye!," Kaoru yelled, grabbing a wooden basket for her shopping, upon exiting through the gate of her dojo. She passed Sanosuke, the ex-street fighter and current regular to her dojo, on her way out, who acknowledged her with a friendly nod and salutation as he entered the dojo's frosty grounds. Once through the gate, Sanosuke turned back to Kaoru and yelled.

"Watch out for ice patches, Missy! And don't be out too long! It looks like the weather might turn nasty any minute!"

"Okay, Sano! Thanks! See you later!," she yelled back, disappearing around the corner.

* * *

A man's dark eyes scanned the path ahead, amidst the forest of snow-covered trees, for any sign that would prove valuable to his 'mission'. The lone dark-clad figure had been scouring the area for a few hours now, waiting. He knew he was close to his target's home, for he had been spying at them for a couple days, just to make sure he had indeed found the correct person. And it seemed that he had.

Oh, how Shimozaki Yuji wanted this! How he wanted everything to just end! His soul wouldn't rest until he had cleared the world of all connections to his tattered past.....

*Flashback*

"Mama? Mama, what's wrong? Why are you crying?," a four-year old Yuji innocently asked his hurt mother, who held indifferent and unemotional expressions on her face through her silent tears. "Mama?" He tugged on the hem of a sleeve of her kimono. A door slid open behind the naiive and curious Yuji, letting his father enter.

"Yuji, leave your father and I to talk, and go play outside now, please," his mother said calmly, barely above a whisper to her son as her husband strode over to the two of them. Yuji knew something was wrong, but wasn't old enough to figure out how to put the pieces of this enigma together. _'Why is Mama acting so strange? How did she get hurt? Why does she never let me stay to play with father?! I don't want to play outside! I want to play with father!,' _Yuji thought, as he wandered around outside.

His attention was turned from his thoughts to the noises he heard coming from where his mother and father were left. He had heard a loud band as something hit the floor and his father's raised voice in a duet with his mother's helpless cries. As he ran towards their room, he heard noises that sounded like when he got spanked for being a "bad little boy". He stopped at their door, listening in innocent curiosity, wondering what was going on.

Since he was just a curious four-year old, curiosity got the better of him. He cracked the sliding door open just an inch; just enough to see what all the commotion was about.

He was shocked to see his mother on her knees, blood spilling down a corner of her mouth, with a swelling left eye. Yuji's father had his wife's long black hair wrapped around his wrist, pulling it up level with his face. He then brought his wife's ear up to his mouth and hissed some venomous words into it, making her cringe even more. After she released another cry, Yuji's father roughly released her hair and she fell to the floor limply.

Yuji had no idea what was going on, his young mind couldn't comprehend it all. It just didn't make sense to him. Then, as his mother looked up from the floor, his father hit his mother across the face, sending her to the floor again. Yuji was shocked and couldn't figure out why his father had beat his mother, so he stood there in the doorway staring at his mother with his dark brown eyes and his jaw dropped slightly. He didn't even move when his father roughly brushed by him in a hurry to leave.

Once his father's footsteps could no longer be heard down the hall, his mother began sobbing as she tried to regain her composure. Yuji walked over to his distraught mother, hugging her as she would hug him when he was hurt or upset. He thought that someone should speak, so he asked if what his young mind thought had happened was true.

"Mama? Were you a bad little girl? Did you get spanked, like me? Were you being a bad little girl? Mama?," he clutched his mother's shaking form to support her. She started crying even more at her son's inquiries, clutching him to her chest for comfort.

~Eight Years Later~

A twelve-year old Yuji walked home with a sore shoulder from his daily lesson with his sensei at the town's dojo. He trained at the dojo and spent as much time as possible there to learn to become a strong fighter. He also spent as much time as he could there because of his father.

He was much too used to the injuries and bruises his crazed father gave him. The rest of his family, especially his mother, all suffered like he did because of his father. He now had three younger siblings and came home every day from his lessons to find them more bruised and battered than they already were. He was hoping that one day, he would become strong enough to rival his father so he could protect his siblings without fear of being beaten himself. 

He was quite strong for his age, really. He acted with the maturity of most decent grown men, for his childhood had been left behind the day his father had first hit him when he was six years old. Most of his earlier memories were forgotten like leaves in the wind, for life went much smoother when things were forgotten. He had his father to thank for his _joyous_ childhood. All that he really remembered was being trapped in a Hell-like home. His lessons were an escape from it all, and he felt that he would be able to confront his father soon. How ironic that 'soon' was sooner than he thought.

He had finally reached his home.

Silence.

He searched for his family. His younger brother and sisters. His mother. He stopped short as he came to his parents' room. He peered inside, much like the way he had done eight years ago when he was only four, when he had first witnessed his father beating his mother. 

Bile raised in his throat at what he saw. He threw up on the floorboards in front of him as tears fell from his eyes.

He had killed them. His father had killed them all in one fell swoop. He looked again with blurry eyes to see his family. Each and every one had been stabbed to death and lay in a haphazard pile, drenched in each others' blood.

Wishing them goodbye and a safe journey, Yuji set out to find his father. After furiously searching the remainder of his home in a kind of blinding trance powered be dismay and hate, he found his father, drunk of course. Yuji grabbed the bloody knife, that had obviously been used to kill his mother and siblings, from the floor and held it above his semi-conscious father's head, ready to kill. 

His father, Yuji noted, stunk of alcohol, urine, and blood. Yuji felt the bile rise in his throat once more, but held it down and closed his eyes shut for a moment in his inner pain, thinking about the crime he was about to commit. He opened his eyes when his father made an attempt to speak, but he decided to speak first.

"Why, Father? Why?!," Yuji managed through his tears and hate for the drunkard in front of him. Through his father's nearly incoherent mumblings of answers, Yuji had gotten the whole story of why his father hated his mother and siblings so. And his reason only made Yuji hate his father more. He then killed him.

That was the first time he had taken a life. He felt refreshed and relieved at seeing his father's blood on his hands. He had become strong enough to face his father.

He ran from home that night, after praying over his loved ones' bodies. He spilt his own blood onto their bodies, so that it would mix with theirs, letting them know that he was living, he was suffering like they had, and that he would join them soon. He wished he could join them now. But, he had one task to complete before joining them. He was more of a ghost then.

As he journeyed, all his forgotten memories returned to plague his every waking moment and every horrifying dream. He had slowly become maddened and crazed with a lust for the blood of those who were unknowingly behind his mortifying past.

By the time Yuji was fifteen, his eyes, mind, heart, and soul had turned black and blinded by his hate. He kept his secret locked away in the depths of his mind, like a knife threatening to stab him, driving him. Nobody knew the reason behind his murders; his secret. N body except for his father's rotting corpse. All would be revealed in time, anyway.....

*End of Flashback*

Now, Yuji had turned himself into a sort of unjust God of Death, untimely cutting the threads of fate with his powerful detestation. He cut dull threads, mere bystanders, for practice, while searching for the golden threads, his targets. So far, he hadn't been able to find even one of the golden threads he had been searching for. He had searched for about ten years, and not one clue. He had sought in vain for ten years, yearning to slice down just one golden thread, so he could be closer to cutting down his own. Not one fucking thread! Not one fucking clue!

Until now........

He eyed the young beauty strolling down the icy path ahead. Malicious laughter echoed hauntingly inside his mind, as it did every time he has spied on his target. He had found a golden thread at last!

Kamiya Kaoru.

To be continued...............

(A/N: Well, what do you guys think, huh? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, please. And just to clear it up, the reason behind Yuji's want to target Kaoru will be explained later in the story....not now. Right now, it is supposed to be slightly confusing and unexplained, because the rest of the story will slowly unravel the truth. ;) So, please review with comments, praise, or constructive criticism. BTW, this story is going to be a long one and continue for a while hopefully. Well, thanks for reading!)


	2. Sound of Snow Falling

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Chapter 2: Sound of Snow Falling

Kaoru walked down the path that led from her dojo, where she was Assistant Master of the Kamiya Kasshin fighting technique, to the main road to town. It was still snowing lightly, even though the sky overhead looked heavy and threatening as if holding back and giving a teasing hint of its full power. Some years, winter had gradually reintroduced itself to the world, while other years, it came as abrupt as a crashing wave upon the shore. '_You just never know,'_ thought Kaoru, again reminiscing about the beautiful day. 

She looked to the trees to her left, sprinkled with snow. A cold wind swept down the path, causing Kaoru to clutch the collar of her outermost garment with one hand to keep out the icy gust, while grasping the basket she had brought to bring back the supplies in. After the gust abated, Kaoru loosened her grip and looked up at the falling snowflakes.

_'Hmmm.....it's snowing a bit harder now. I hope it stays nice like this.'_ Kaoru kept walking down the straight path. She had decided to take this longer alternate way to town, since it was such a nice day. But now she was at the part of this alternate way that she disliked. The part she hated was the long straight path that led around the outskirts of the buildings and next to the woods.

_'I hate this part of the walk.....something about this abandoned pathway puts me on edge....Oh well! I guess that the beauty of it outweighs my stupid skittish feelings of it.'_ She smiled to herself, proud that she had managed to put on her mask, and hide even from herself. Now she was almost to town, where she could pick up the needed supplies.

She hated to be alone, but sometimes, one needed time alone to remember personal memories and think to themselves.

__

'I wonder what Kenshin thinks about when it snows... I know his thoughts must not be pleasant, for he hasn't shared any of his memories regarding it. I saw the sad eyes behind his cheerful smile this morning. Does he think I don't see the sorrow in his eyes? Does he think I'm too naive to understand or see behind his mask?! I wish...,' Kaoru paused her thoughts for a moment, allowing a sigh to escape her lips, _'.....I just hope that somehow..... someday, he can -' _Kaoru's thoughts were stopped when another gust of wind swept by her, pushing her hair back from her face, slightly wetting it with snow. When she felt that the gust had passed, she opened her eyes, which were squinted closed, and looked around.

_'It's quiet... really quiet..... And not a body in sight. Well, not that anybody ever travels this path much anyway. Ok, almost there, just a few more minutes -'_

"Uuuggh!" Kaoru stumbled back slightly, wondering what, or who, had run into her.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I didn't mean to startle you! My apologies!," said the man in front of Kaoru, bowing and picking up her dropped basket. Shocked, she took it back, still dumbfounded as she looked into his eyes; she couldn't decide if they were brown or black. 

"I'm so sorry, Miss, but I'm in a hurry! Good day!," he said, placing a hand on each of Kaoru's shoulders, squeezing slightly as a friend would do to another friend as a show of comforting or apology. With one last bow of his head, the dark-clothed man ran off towards the nearest set of buildings. 

Kaoru watched as the strange figure disappeared into an alley, away from Kaoru's sight and the pure white snow that sharply opposed his darkly-clad self. _'That was odd... for the second time today, I was so lost in my thoughts, that I failed to take notice of my surroundings! Even thought there was no real danger..... But I do wonder what that was about..... That man just crashed into me from the forest... how odd!'_ A frustrated Kaoru rubbed her sore left shoulder as she finally entered the town. _'I didn't realize he had hit me so hard..... This hurts a lot more than when Yahiko manages to get a swing in!'_

Kaoru picked up the needed supplies from the shops that hadn't decided to close due to the worsening weather. Most of the shops were actually stalls set up outside, after all. Kaoru shivered as her teeth began to chatter. _'I think I should visit Tae and Tsubame and get some nice warm tea before heading out again,'_ thought Kaoru, heading for the Akabeko.

***

"Why, hello Kaoru! I'll be there in a minute for you!," said Tae as she passed with a tray of food for some waiting diners, upon seeing Kaoru enter. When it was cold out, it seemed that all the travelers and townspeople flocked to the nearest restaurant. In this case, the Akabeko had become very busy. It would clear out if it started really storming or got too freezing, though. That's how it always seemed to happen. Kaoru waited for Tae to return from attending tables to talk, her teeth still involuntarily chattering.

"My goodness, Kaoru! You must be chilled to the bone from walking outside and shopping in this cold weather. Even though it's nice for a change, it's still very cold!," said Tae quickly. Kaoru nodding in agreement before speaking.

"Yes, and it sure is beautiful back at the dojo..."

"I bet. Oh, would you like some tea before you head out again?" Kaoru just nodded. For some reason, she just didn't feel like talking much. Tae quickly retrieved some tea for her friend, and then continued to hold a mostly one-sided conversation while Kaoru sipped as quickly as she could on her hot tea. She felt warmed enough to leave after her first cup. She thought she had better head homewards soon so she wouldn't get caught in any severe weather. Sano had been right when he told her the weather would probably be worsening.

"Thank you, Tae. I need to be going now and get this food back to the three hungry males at the dojo," said Kaoru, trying to act nonchalant and more cheerful, for she hadn't been very conversational with Tae earlier.

"Okay. Get home safely, Kaoru... and soon! See you later, Kaoru." Kaoru turned at the doorframe to say goodbye, but found herself holding to it for support as a wave of dizziness overcame her. _'Uugh... maybe I turned around too quickly,'_ guessed Kaoru.

"Goodbye Tae!" Kaoru forced a smile as she was able to refocus on her friend. She then picked up her basket and turned to exit the door once more.

"Bye..... Oh, and Kaoru?!... Please make sure you hurry... you don't look so well..." With that, Tae disappeared to continue working.

Stepping into the cold outside world, Kaoru felt another wave of dizziness pass. _'That's odd..... Must be the cold and snow swirling around that's making me dizzy.' _Kaoru headed back the same way she had come, even though it was much longer than the regular way, because she really didn't feel like being approached by anymore street salesmen and people rushing to their houses to get out of the cold. She was adamant about getting home.

By this time, it seemed that the snow was falling harder with every passing minute and the gusts of wind were now continually blowing snow about, before letting it fall finally to the icy ground. Not to mention that it was also bitterly cold now. Kaoru's body shivered as she trudged through the snow. Her kimono and outer layers, although warm, were not made for such harsh weather. Snow, yes; but snow storm, no.

_'I just need to get back to the dojo as soon as I can. Then I can give the food to Kenshin and take the nice warm bath Yahiko hopefully prepared for my return. He better have!'_ Kaoru numbly headed down the long straight path next to the forest. She was now very cold: her nose was frozen, her hands bluish, and she couldn't even tell if she had toes anymore, they were that numb from the cold. Her breath came out in little white clouds with each exhalation of air. Odd waves of dizziness continued to come and go spontaneously.

Little did she know that a pair of eyes watched her intently, like a predator scoping out its prey. The dark eyes closed as the man's lips curled into a miniscule, sadistic smile. A single tear escaped the man's eye, freezing as it landed with the snow beneath it. His mind was laughing, knowing that his objective would soon be fulfilled. _'Such a pretty golden thread....' _The man sighed. _'Oh well..... _

'.....snip.....'

'.....snip.....'

'.....snip.....'

* * *

"Hey Kenshin!," yelled Sanosuke from across the dojo's yard. Kenshin looked up from helping Yahiko clean the wooden plank floors of the dojo.

"Hello Sano. What brings you here today?"

"Oh, nothing much..... Just dropping by," replied Sano, his hands in his pockets and his eyes roaming around at the falling snow.

"Yeah right, Sano! You just came by to freeload!," Yahiko snorted out.

"Hey, punk! I wasn't talking to you!," Sano retorted back. Sano folded his arms and grunted. _'Yes, he probably will be eating over, whether he's invited or not,'_ thought Kenshin, smiling to himself.

"Well, you are welcome to stay for dinner, Sano," Kenshin smartly intervened. _'Those two could fight for hours if not stopped. Same with Miss Kaoru..... Hmmm, I wonder where she could be.....'_

"Yahiko, where is Miss Kaoru?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you that she ran off to the market to get a few things before the weather gets too bad. Just in case we get snowed in without food, ya know," Yahiko informed him.

"Hopefully, she'll bring back something good for dinner," said Sano. Kenshin merely smiled at his friends as they continued in their own activities around the dojo. Dropping his smile, he cast a worried glance up into the white sky and falling snowflakes. _'I hope Miss Kaoru returns quickly, for the weather is about to get much worse, I fear.'_ A while later, n icy wind blew through the yard, tousling Kenshin's hair.

"Aren't you gonna come inside, Kenshin? It's freezing cold!" Yahiko stood on the porch shivering and rubbing his arms in an almost comic attempt to retain his body heat.

"No, Yahiko. Miss Kaoru is still in town and may need help bringing the food back. She's been gone over two hours now. Usually, she would've been back long ago. It's really windy now, so I think a snow storm is not far away."

"Okay, come back safely, Kenshin! I'll stay here and keep Sano out of what food we do have!"

"Hey Yahiko! Come back in here and finish this game!"

"Aaargh! Coming Sano! I'm gonna beat you this time!" Sano had been teaching Yahiko dice and gambling games lately. But if Kaoru found out, she'd surely punish them both. Kenshin secured another layer of clothing around his body and grabbed two extra blankets. He knew that if the weather really took a turn for the worse, those blankets would be well-appreciated. 

Kenshin headed out the dojo gate, wondering which way Kaoru had gone. _'She loves to go the back way when she's alone. Even though it's storming, she probably went the long way back, just because she's stubborn like that,'_ thought Kenshin, with a smile on his face. He began the hard walk down the long path. _'She has this... this fire about her..... It's amazing, really, how someone could always have such a smiling spirit.'_

Kenshin ended up wrapping one of the blankets around himself like a cloak, after a few minutes. The weather had suddenly become even worse. He could barely see ten feet in front of him with the sharp winds blowing snow and ice into his face, which felt like tiny stinging needles in his skin, and the cold was nearly unbearable.

_'I need to find Miss Kaoru! I hope she decided to stay with Tae or Megumi instead of battling this weather just to bring us food at the dojo._

'She always puts our needs before her own, regardless of the lengths she has to go through in order to make sure that everybody at the dojo is happy..... And I guess she does make me... us happy...'

* * *

__

'So... dizzy..... I should have stayed at the Akabeko or gone the short way home. But I must return to the dojo so that everybody has enough food,' thought Kaoru as she clutched the food-filled basket to her chest. She stumbled with her next step and had to stop and wait for the next round of dizziness to pass before continuing slowly through the blizzard-like gusts of snow and icy winds.

_'It's so... cold..... Very cold... and my left shoulder really aches on top of it all. I guess that man really did run into me harder than I thought..... It's so cold....._

'But I must get home..... I must return home.....,' continued Kaoru's thoughts. Her hair, clothing, and skin was covered in an icy frost. She felt like her skin was aflame due to the numbing prickling sensation of the biting cold snow. Waves of extreme dizziness and now nausea were increasing in frequency and strength with each passing moment.

Yet, one thought, fueled by her stubbornness, repeated itself over and over again in her mind: _'Must return home... to Sano... Yahiko... and to Kenshin..... Must return home to Kenshin.'_ She blocked off all feeling and sense of her whereabouts, turned her body on auto-pilot, and repeated that thought over and over like a mantra. _'Must return home... to Kenshin.'_

Kaoru had harbored feelings for the repenting swordsman since he began living at her dojo. She knew that she loved him now. That became clear for her when Kenshin battled with Saito Hajime, and almost reverted completely to his darker side; his battousai side. She loved him deeply with all her heart and soul, yet carried a heavy sadness with her, because she didn't think that Kenshin could ever feel the same. His thoughts always seemed to be so far away. He always seemed as if he was in some different world, when in reality, he would be directly in front of her. But there were times when he showed caring and compassion for her, not some distant memory, but she guessed that was just him being a naturally caring person. 

_'Must return home... to Kenshin,' _the mantra repeated again.

__

White swirled all around her, disorienting her off her equilibrium. Almost her whole body was numb and chilled to the bone, and the parts of her that weren't numb, hurt and ached a great deal. Everything was spinning, faster and faster around her, like a drain sucking her of her energy and thoughts. _'Just a little farther... to return... to Kenshin.....'_

Another strong gust of wind cut through the air past a frozen woman struggling in the snow, wearing no more than one extra layer of clothing over her usual kimono. The endless white took a hold of the woman, wrapping its icy claws around her small frame.

The woman's body gave out, dropped a basket full of food, and fell to the snow. The extreme cold, as well as another cycle of dizziness enveloped the woman in cold, pain, and blankness. She was so disoriented that she wasn't even aware she had fallen. _'Must return home... to Kenshin,'_ her weary mind kept repeating. Had her body not been numb, she would've felt her shoulder throbbing painfully and her body aching.

"Ken... shin.....," the woman at last murmured before letting the darkness in her mind replace the white around her.

__

'Snip.....'

'Snip.....'

'Snip.....'

To be continued.....

(A/N: Whew! I finally got this retyped! I've had this part written since shortly after I wrote the first chapter, yet due to my computer needing to be completely restored (which means that ALL my files got erased so my computer was like it was when it was new), quite a few chapters were lost. I finally found this chapter written in a notebook of mine and decided it was about time I retyped and posted it! 

I hope everybody liked it! Please review or e-mail me your comments! And thank you to all of my reviewers... You guys make writing worth it! And I apologize for taking so long to update! *ducks as angry readers demand for quicker updates* )

(BTW: Half of the next chapter if written, so the wait won't be too long. ;) )


	3. Talk to the Moon

**Chapter 3: Talk to the Moon**

Kenshin continued through the snow storm, in search of Kaoru, along the long straight path that would eventually lead to town. 'I hope that Miss Kaoru decided to stay in town till after the storm, that I do.

But....she can be so stubborn sometimes.....' He smiled to himself, remembering the slight bruise he had received on his head yesterday from her whacking him on the head.

'She is stubborn, fiery, generous, and she always puts others before herself...' With that last thought, Kenshin quickened his pace through the storm, concentrating on getting to Kaoru.

'God, she better be okay.... I.... I couldn't forgive myself if anything were to happen to her or anyone of my friends. But specifically her... I don't know if I could stand it if I lost another love...' Kenshin stopped his steps for a brief moment, not believing what his mind had allowed his heart to say. Clearing his mind of those thoughts, he continued on in search of the woman he had grown to love. He didn't deny that he loved her, yet he could never act upon his feelings. It wasn't that he felt unworthy, for a part of him believed that they were just what each other needed and they were meant to be together, but it was complicated.

He knew he was hurting her everyday that he stayed living in her dojo. Even though he acted ignorant to her feelings, he wasn't blinded to see the far-off sadness behind her eyes when he would watch her when she thought she was alone doing chores. He hated seeing that look on her countenance and in her eyes. That look of utter loneliness and longer. That's why he loved it so much when she smiled.

Whenever she smiled at him, the sadness he abhorred was replaced with joy and happiness- because he was there with her. He could never leave her because of that. If he ever left her, that beautiful smile would be replaced with grief and tears. He knew what had happened when he left for Kyoto. Sano had 'informed' him of what had become of Kaoru when he was gone, the same way any protective brotherly figure would have done. Good thing Kaoru didn't see the bruises from his and Sano's 'conversation', because she would have worried, and Kenshin hated it when he was the reason for her to worry. He couldn't believe that Kaoru would have reacted in such a way to his departure. Kenshin's face had paled and he was shocked when Sano had told him of Kaoru's coma-like state of grief and depression.

That's why he couldn't leave her ever. He meant too much to her and she meant too much to him. But, that was also the reason Kenshin believed he could never act upon his strong feelings of love towards Kaoru. His memories of his first love Tomoe were still hauntingly fresh in his mind.

She had died because of their love for one another. Kenshin knew he could protect Kaoru from harm from other people, but he couldn't protect her from herself or from her feelings and reactions regarding himself. He knew how to use his sakabatou to protect those he loved, but he still hadn't mastered how to use his heart to protect them. He couldn't be without her, yet he couldn't be with her. Kenshin often wondered if he was doomed to cause others misery.

Any outsider would be able to see clearly that Kenshin and Kaoru belonged together. To outsiders, it seemed so simple for them to be together. But, the reasons behind why they couldn't be together were not on the outside. And until Kenshin decided to take a risk and embrace a love he had only partially experienced once before, nothing would ever change positively in his relationship with Kaoru.

And here he was, searching blindly through the dense snowstorm for the one he loved most now.

He was used to having nothing to lose, and it was easier to concentrate that way. When Kenshin left for Kyoto, he felt that having nothing to lose would give him an advantage against Shishio. But having something to lose gave one the willpower, strength, and motivation to make it out alive, that those who had nothing to lose lacked. Kenshin just hadn't fully realized that yet. It was too frightening for Kenshin right now. The last time he had someone to lose, he tragically lost them.

A knot of worry had been forming in the pit of his stomach since he set foot on the long snowy stretch of path, and it was only growing. He trudged on, before suddenly halting his steps. His eyes went wide. He heard the blood race in his ears and the blankets in his arms fell onto the snow.

To be continued....

(A/N: I'm so sorry this short chapter took so long to get posted. I kinda lost my motivation somwhere along the way to type this up and post it. But thanks to a wonderful review from The Agoraphobic, I was inspired to finally post this up here and get back on track to writing stories. So, thanks to The Agoraphobic and all other reviewers out there. Your reviews are much appreciated.)


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